Rattleskunkupine!/Transcript
opens up showing an odd beehive-like object in a tree. Chum Chum inspects it Fanboy: What do you think, Chum Chum? Chum Chum: Hmm...definitely a pinata. I can hear the candy buzzing inside. Fanboy: Just as I suspected, nature's first naturally occurring pinata! Chum Chum: How can you tell? Fanboy: It's right to nature's first naturally occurring stick! a branch off the tree trunk and gives it to Chum Chum Chum Chum: That's all the facts I'' need. ''try to hit the "pinata" but it keeps ducking upwards into the tree Fanboy: What is going on with this thing? up Chum Chum, gimmie eight fingers. Chum lifts Fanboy up into the tree Fanboy: singsong Pinata? I know you're in there! I can see your glowing, red eyes! normal Huh. "pinata" jumps onto Fanboy's head, revealed to be a rattleskunkupine, and attacks him Fanboy: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Ah! Get it off, get it off! Chum tries to get it off, but he stabs his hands in its quills Chum Chum: AAAAHHHHH! Ah, ooh, ahh! Get it off, get it off! grabs its tail and pulls, but its stink sprays into his mouth Fanboy: Puh, pah, uhh, my mouth was open! Chum clings to him Look at it. It's like...part rattlesnake, part porcupine, and... rattleskunkupine makes a stinky fist Eww. fist punches them into the ground All skunk! What do you call something like that? rattleskunkupine drags its butt on the ground like a dog Chum Chum: How 'bout...Scooter? Fanboy and Chum Chum: Aww! Fanboy: The perfect name for the perfect pet. (Song: Scooter) Fanboy and Chum Chum: (singing offscreen) Scooter, he looks really funny Scooter, but he's my buddy Scooter, he's better than a puppy He's a snake and a skunk and a porcupine Scooter Fanboy: His laugh is contagious Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter Fanboy: And his spikes are outrageous Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter Fanboy: He's a super cool dude He's a prickly pet with a heart of gold Chum Chum: You may not think he's cute and cuddly But, he's my friend and we think he's lovely... Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter Fanboy: He looks really funny! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter Fanboy: But he's my buddy! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter Fanboy: He's better than a puppy! Fanboy and Chum Chum: He's a snake and a skunk and a porcupine Scooter, he's my buddy! Scooter, he's a little bit ugly! Scooter, ouch, that hurts! night at the Fanlair... Chum Chum: Ooh! I wonder whose bed he wants to sleep in. jumps onto Chum Chum Fanboy: Oh, lucky? Chum Chum: Ooh, you can -- ay -- have him -- too -- tomorrow -- ow. turns off the light Fanboy and Chum Chum: Good night, Scooter! they snore, Scooter giggles and exits through the Fanlair's doggy door next morning... Fanboy off alarm and sighs Chum Chum: sighs Morning, Scooter! quills off face Fanboy: What do you say boy? Should we go get kicked out of a dog park? Hmm? giggles excitedly Chum Chum: Ooh! He likes it, he likes it! kisses Scooter, but his lips swell up due to the quills Fanboy and Chum Chum are pushing Scooter in a pram Cheech: PANIC! stop walking Fanboy: Hmm. start walking again Lunch Lady Cram: DESTRUCTION! stop walking again Fanboy: Hmm. start walking again, only to see the street in front of them on fire Lupe: PANIC! Dollarnator: AND DESTRUCTION! Fanboy: Hmm. I don't remember the forecast calling for panic and destruction. puts a newspaper in Fanboy's face Retchy: Extree, extree! Spiky monster destroys town ore' the night! Forecast calls for panic and destruction! leaves Chum Chum: Spiky monster?! Iiiit could eat our little Scooter! Fanboy: Don't worry, Scooter. Daddy and daddy will never let anything happen to you. Let's take him to Oz's! Oz Comix... Fanboy and Chum Chum: Oz! Oz! There's a horrible monster on the -- cage traps them oh! Oz: Aha! I got you, monster! pause Aw, it's just you guys. Fanboy: Whoa! Are you trying to capture that thing that destroyed the town? Oz: That I am. remote, raises cage Chum Chum: What kind of monster is this? Have you seen it? Oz: Oh yes, I've seen it. And it will haunt me until the end of my days. It's a hideous thing, armed with the razor sharp quills of a porcupine. Fanboy: Oh, sounds horrible. coughs and cries Shh. Shh. Ow! Oz: And it bites with the venomous fangs of a rattlesnake. Fanboy: Oh, simply awful. bites him Uh-uh-uh! Not now, Daddy's listening. Oz: And it befouled the air with super stinky stench of a seriously, smelly skunk. Chum Chum: Oh, disgusting! farts, both smell I think Scooter needs changing. Oz So, what's this monster called anyway? Oz: The Wampanoco peoples of the Poconos have a name for it. throat, yells But that doesn't even capture the true terror of the beast! And it hurts the throat. That's why I call it... down a picture of him battling a rattleskunkupine Rattleskunkupine! Fanboy: Ugh! It's hideous! The only appealing thing about it is the way it scoots along. Scooter Just like you, little -- stare at him Uh-oh. pram's shade all the way Oz: Yes. Rattleskunkupine. Long have you alluded me! Cut to flashback. at screen dissolves to Oz's flashback Oz: voiceover I first tracked the creature in the African desert. I was hot on his trail, but I got sloppy. And when I wasn't looking... rattleskunkupine yells and charges at Oz Oz: voiceover IT TOOK MY LEG!...MY CHICKEN LEG! yee-haw! Oz: NOOOOOOOOOO! Oz: voiceover Years later, I got a tip that it was spotted in the Amazon jungle. I set a trap and waited for weeks, surviving on nothing but meat, vegetables, grain and dairy products. But the creature was cunning, and when I wasn't prepared, it snuck up behind me...AND IT TOOK MY EAR!...MY EAR OF CORN! Oz: Ah! Uh, uh... yee-haw! Oz: NOOOOOOO! Oz: voiceover The last time I cross-passed with the beast was in the arctic tundra. There, we fought for hours until the snow was stain red. Oz: Ow! Uh! Ah! Oz: voiceover And at last, after it broke my ribs...MY BARBECUE RIBS! yee-haw! Oz: voiceover It vanished. Oz: NOOOOOO! ribs of flashback Oz: And when I finally track it down, I will take from it all that was taken from me. So, what's in the carriage? Fanboy: and Chum Chum gulp Oh, um...just our...groceries? Fanboy and Chum Chum: giggle Oz: Sweet! All those flashbacks made me starving. Let's have a look. inside pram and hand gets pricked, he grunts Ow! Ooh! Eh! Ow, something pricked my finger! on finger Wait a minute! Fanboy and Chum Chum: wimpering Oz: The rattleskunkupine!...took all your groceries! NOOOOOOOOOO... Chum Chum: Where's Scooter? Fanboy: I don't know. We have to find him! Oz: saying "no" Whew, that was a long one. Fanboy: Well, Oz, we should be going, don't wanna keep you from your all-consuming obsession. to push pram out, but bumps into Oz Oz: Wait right there! You two aren't going anywhere. 'Cause you're gonna help me finally capture the rattleskunkupine! Fanboy and Chum Chum: giggle town... Fanboy: whispering Here, Scooter. Chum Chum: Scooter, where are you? is heard Fanboy: gasp You hear that, Chum Chum? Chum Chum: It sounds like Scooter. Oz: around Guys, serously, stop hissing. I'm trying to listen for the distinctive call of the rattleskunkupine. hissing behind him you hear that? is on his back I know that rattle anywhere. Oh, he's close! In fact, I think he's RIGHT BEHIND ME! around Chum Chum: Es only mi-o, I want to take you down to Rio Oz: Chum Chum, that -- that's genus! Using maracas -- it would take the sound of the female, and he loves fruit! That oughta draw him hot for sure! he says this, Fanboy takes Scooter off his back Actually, that gives me an idea. hides Scooter in his underwear Oz: I'll just use this custom whistle that only rattleskunkupines can hear. Fanboy It's specifically designed to drive them crazy. and Chum Chum wimper and sweat. Oz blows the whistle, causing Scooter to go crazy in Fanboy's underwear Fanboy: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oz: Jeez, Fanboy, if you're gonna randomly scream like that, I'm just gonna have to blow harder. whistle, causing Scooter to jump like mad Nothing yet. Let me try this one. out another whistle It makes him run in circles. whistle, Scooter runs in circles. Takes out bigger whistle This one makes him fire his quills in every direction! Fanboy: No no, don't do that! Oz: You're right. How am I supposed to identify about him without his trademark quills? These whistles are useless! whistle away, Fanboy and Chum Chum sigh in relief, then takes out the biggest whistle But this one isn't! It makes him climb to the highest point, so he's visible. blows the whistle, making Scooter pop out of Fanboy's head flap Chum Chum: Scooter! Oz: gasp You know this rattleskunkupine? Chum Chum: He's our rattleskunkupine, and we love him, and there's nothing you can do to take him away from us! takes Scooter Fanboy: Oh, except for that. Did not see that one coming. Oz: At last, rattleskunkupine! I've got you in my clutches, and I'm gonna make you pay me back for everything you've taken from me! while holding up Scooter's tail Fanboy: Oh, I can't watch! squeezes Scooter's tail, making honey spill out of his tail Oz: giggles At last! I'm finally reunited with my precious food! Scooter back to Fanboy Fanboy and Chum Chum: Huh? Oz: Mmm! honey And it's been marinating in a kettle of honey! Oh-ho, how I've waited for this moment. honey coated chicken leg Fanboy: So, all this time, you just wanted your food back? Oz: Oh, you think I wanted the actual animal? That thing's terrifying. hideous close up of Scooter as he giggles Oz: Get it away! eating and Chum Chum hug Scooter Chum Chum: Oh, Scooter! I'm so happy we get to keep you forever! Fanboy: I don't know what could possibly make you a better pet! fires atomic power lasers at the school, blowing it up Fanboy and Chum Chum: Atomic power lasers?!? AWESOME! BEST PET EVER! (Song: Scooter) Fanboy and Chum Chum: Scooter, he looks really funny Scooter, but he's my buddy Oz: Hey, can you bring him by tomorrow? I've got a ham that needs a honey glaze! Category:Transcripts